I’ve heard before that when mercury is in retrograde, it often works to teach and reteach us a few lessons in life. Nothing could be truer than that today, as this lesson is one of the hardest to endure. If you don’t take heed, it can also be tempting to try and forget.

There was a little puppy named Cilla who become my fur child about 11.5 years ago. I met her on my 22nd birthday. On that day, my head was full of excitement and admiration. Little to my knowledge at the time, she was really going to need me but not as much as I needed her.

Quickly, she became ill and my now husband and I desperately searched vet to vet until we got her condition under control. One trip at the VCA even suggested putting her down at a very young age, but we never gave up on her. She was always a little sickly and pretty much scared of everything. One thing she was always good at, however, was love.

She was the type of dog that would comfort you in times of need and be that loyal best friend through whatever. As years went by and she became older, I forgot to make her a priority at times. I’d get mad at her for chewing on things and destroying our house. I’d resent her for preventing me from “living my best life” because it was near impossible to find a dog sitter. I often felt like she drove a wedge between my husband and I. What I didn’t realize, was that she was my best life. She loved me unconditionally, and possibly more than any person ever will.

Today, I’m watching her struggle to breathe. She’s got a terminal case of liver disease and has refused to eat for 3 days now. My last act of love will be when her angel of death arrives to put her at peace forever in about 4 hrs. All I want now is for her to stop feeling pain and be at peace.

So retrograde is in Pisces, my opposing sign. In my reflection as I watch her on this awful day, I think about how I acted these past few years and I’ll never get that time back to appreciate her as much as I do in this moment right now. I’ve sobbed apologies to her and I can only assume all is forgiven, but life is precious and time is so very cruel.

The lesson, my friends, is to always make those who you love a priority and let them know how you feel.

Leave no words unsaid. All the busy and superficial bullshit in life can wait. Love above all else. This isn’t the first time I’ve learned this lesson, but by god, I hope it sticks! My heart is breaking.